growing up
We’ve all had dreams growing up. Here we are now years later am wondering if it would have been better for me to have filmed my dreams and watched them later on in life like right now when am still miles away from them. I dint stop dreaming just that now i dream in HD.
I miss the innocence; the days with imaginary friends and pretending to be grown up. Everyone used to tell me, “These are the best years of your life, enjoy them while you can.” All i wanted then was to dress up like them, wear my 6 inch heels ( truth is i can’t stand them but i got pairs of them in my shoe rack
Anyway I did not realize that those youthful days would come to an end and growing up would not be as easy as it was in my mind.
So as you know a child you has no worries, at least not when you look at the big picture. When I was a little girl I did not have to worry about getting a job or making money, instead I pretended to “work” by my own rules and my own made up hours. My occupation changed depending on my mood; some days I taught a group of imaginary students, other days I saved lives, and occasionally I would serve food, concocted from grass, flowers and dirt, to make-believe customers or work like my mom at home “cha mama”. Although I did not make any real money, I made some unforgettable memories and had the time of my life. As a young girl I did not dread going to school because I loved school; it made me feel older and important. Going to school meant that I was growing up and that I would finally be able to live my dreams. Those were the days, the days I had time to run around in the yard play chobo ua, kati, skip ropes and whatever games you can think of including shake and rounders. Now i miss that innocence.
“We’re growing up; we’ve changed so much…Another morning here I am, between a deadline and a traffic jam.” I have come a long way since I was that carefree girl with dreams that stretched for miles. I have grown up and have been stripped of the innocence that I had as a little girl. My mind goes crazy with all of the things I have to keep track of and worry about these days. Instead of playing in my innocent world, I am bombarded by the daunting stories on the news about the recent shootings and the dangers we should be aware of. My mind is constantly occupied by health concerns and body image. I find myself lost in a gigantic world full of uncertainty and full of worry.
“When dreams were all we had…” Those dreams from my younger days are turning into realities. I went from yearning to be in school, to wishing I was in high school, to fast forwarding to college. Now I dream of going to medical school and becoming a doctor. College is so different than what I expected; I thought it would be like high school but with some bonuses like choosing your schedule and having more freedom. I imagined that college would be so much better. I was wrong; those were the best years of my life. I miss the innocence I had, even in high school. At my high school, Mutz, everyone knew each other (it’s only logical since we all came from the same village. It is a village school afterall) and we were one big family. I was comforted by the walls that protected me from the outside world; now there are not any walls protecting me and I do not know anyone. The people in town are not friendly like the ones in high school; if you are not part of a “group” then you do not fit in. “Days like this, I miss the innocence.”
One day I will probably look back at college and think, “I wish I could go back,” just like I wish I could go back to my younger days and to high school. I know, now, that no matter what path life decides to take me down it is important to enjoy every moment because I cannot go back. I need to find the innocence in myself, today and in the future, so I can fully get the most out of all my experiences. With every new encounter, we are all innocent in some way; no matter how old we get we will never truly be stripped of our innocence and we will never stop dreaming, even if that innocence and those dreams are modified along way.
